Have you ever heard the expression “Clear is kind, unclear is unkind?”
That simple yet transformative concept is something Brené Brown talks about extensively in her book, “Dare to Lead.”
Failing to give a coworker clear expectations because it's too hard, but still holding them accountable for not meeting your expectations, is unkind.
Sugarcoating feedback to an employee in an effort to make them feel better, which is more often about you, is unkind.
Avoiding uncomfortable conversations is unkind.
Many people have experienced a work environment where these types of unkind actions take place and know that it leads to all sorts of dysfunction.
According to Brené’s research, it can lead to a lack of engagement and trust. It can result in an increase in problematic toxic behavior, such as the pervasive back channel, also known as the meeting after the meeting. And it can lead to decreased performance, due to a lack of clarity and shared purpose.
What’s also true is that we can all get better at receiving feedback so we can grow and maintain strong working relationships.
In this blog, we’ll look at giving and receiving feedback that inspires trust, learning, and growth.
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Giving feedback effectively is a powerful communication skill that strengthens teamwork, boosts performance, and fosters a culture of continuous growth. When done well, feedback helps colleagues feel valued, gain clarity on expectations, and improve their skills without fear or frustration. By approaching feedback with clarity, empathy, and a focus on solutions, you can ensure your message is received positively and leads to meaningful progress.
In a recent PowerSpeaking Live! discussion about giving feedback, panelist Kay Malcolm shared her go-to tips:
Here are other great strategies we discussed during the Live! event:
Prepare Well – Write down what you want to say, then practice out loud. Also, check your intentions; do you have the person’s best interests at the heart of your feedback?
Be Timely – Provide feedback as close to the event as possible. Delayed feedback can lose its impact.
Choose the Environment Wisely – Set yourself up for success by choosing a private, distraction-free place to talk.
Be Specific and Objective – Focus on concrete actions and behaviors rather than making vague or personal comments. For example, instead of saying, "Your report was bad," say, "The report lacked key data points needed for decision making. Adding X and Y would improve it."
Use the "Sandwich" Approach Wisely – While starting and ending with positives can balance constructive feedback, make sure it’s authentic, and be careful not to dilute the main message. Ensure the person understands what needs improvement.
Encourage Dialogue – Make feedback a 2-way conversation. Ask open-ended questions like, "How do you see this situation?" to ensure understanding and engagement.
In that same panel discussion, Matt Holcomb said he uses the “SBI™” framework, developed by the Center for Creative Leadership for giving feedback, whether during performance reviews or other situations. Here’s how it works:
The SBI™ Framework (Situation-Behavior-Impact) is a structured method for giving clear, objective, and constructive feedback. It helps ensure feedback is specific, focused on observable actions, and tied to real consequences.
SBI™ Framework Breakdown:
Situation – Describe the specific time, place, or context where the behavior occurred. Example: “In yesterday’s team meeting…”
Behavior – State the observable action the person took, without judgment or interpretation. Example: “You interrupted others multiple times while they were sharing their ideas.”
Impact – Explain the effect of the behavior on you, the team, and/or the work outcome. Example: “This made it difficult for others to contribute, and some team members seemed hesitant to speak up.” After giving your feedback, be sure to give the person an opportunity to share their perspective. This will help you explore the intent and differentiate it from the impact.
Just as giving feedback helps others grow, receiving feedback with an open mind is essential for our own development. Embracing both sides of the exchange fosters a culture of continuous learning and improvement.
Receiving feedback in the workplace is essential for growth, but it can sometimes feel challenging or uncomfortable. By approaching feedback with the right mindset and strategies, you can turn it into a powerful tool for professional development. Here are some key tips to help you receive feedback effectively and use it to improve your skills and performance.
Think of it as a Gift – Receiving constructive feedback is an opportunity to grow. And sometimes, even feedback that isn’t delivered so well is a chance for you to assess the feedback and act on aspects of it that feel right for your development.
Listen Actively and Stay Open-Minded – Avoid getting defensive. Instead, focus on understanding the perspective being shared. Acknowledge the feedback and ask for clarification if needed.
Separate Emotion from Facts – It’s natural to feel defensive, but focus on actionable insights rather than taking feedback personally. Ask yourself, “How can I use this to grow?”
Follow Up and Apply Changes – Show appreciation for feedback by taking action. If you’ve worked on improving, update the person who provided the feedback to demonstrate growth and accountability.
Managers and leaders can play a crucial role in creating an environment in which giving and receiving empathetic, constructive feedback is valued. Here are several strategies they can use:
Lead by Example – Demonstrate a willingness to receive feedback and act on it. When leaders request and apply feedback, it sets the tone for the rest of the team to do the same.
Normalize Regular Feedback – Create a culture where feedback isn’t just for performance reviews but happens frequently in a constructive way. Encourage team members to share feedback with peers and leadership in meetings, 1-on-1s, and casual check-ins.
Make Psychological Safety a Priority – Ensure employees feel safe sharing honest feedback without fear of negative consequences. Encourage a growth mindset by treating feedback as a tool for improvement rather than criticism.
Matt echoed and expanded on this advice . . .
Kindness, good intentions, and the courage to say and do what’s needed to grow together is something we could use more of, not only in the business world, but in our country and around the world.
I try to remember that often, the best way to make a difference is to start where I am, where I work and live.
I hope you can use the feedback practices shared in this blog to make a difference at work and in your community.
Watch the full PowerSpeaking Live! discussion, “Your Best Self: How to Give and Receive Feedback,” as well as past episodes here or listen to it on our PowerSpeaking Podcast.
Blogs on related topics:
“Unlock the Secrets to Facilitating Productive, Inclusive Meetings and Discussions”
“Powerful Leadership Communication: 4 Key Strategies”
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