“Focus more on learning than on succeeding. Instead of pretending that you understand something when you don’t, just raise your hand and ask a question.”  Michelle Obama

 

Many of us shy away from asking questions, despite how invaluable they can be in clarifying and creating understanding.

We worry that we’ll ask the wrong question and be perceived as incompetent. Or we believe we already know the answer—whether it is right or wrong.

We've all been there: wanting to ask a question but are hesitant because we don't want to appear as if we don't understand. But that's why you should ask. If you have a question, more than likely, someone else has the same one.

Women in science, technology, engineering, and math (STEM) are no strangers to seeing paths blocked and doors shut because of gender bias. While women have made inroads into these fields, they’re still in the minority . . .

Just 33% of the world’s researchers are women and this under representation occurs worldwide. — Unesco Science Report 2021 

Only 5% of leadership positions in the technology sector are held by women. —  PriceWaterhouseCooper (PwC) UK

Minority women are still grossly underrepresented in the U.S. STEM workforce:  13% Asian, 9% Black, 8% Hispanic. — Pew Research Center 2021 

Despite these dismal numbers I’m hopeful for change, for two reasons. First, I’m inspired by the amazing work being done by countless organizations and individuals for gender parity and drawing more women to STEM careers.

I love the message of confidence and hope from young women like this student at Carnegie Mellon Africa . . .

“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.”— George Bernard Shaw, dramatist & critic

Today we text, instant message, email, Slack, ping, present, Zoom, and occasionally meet in person, but how often do we really communicate—and do it well?

Yes, the technical skills you’ve worked so hard to hone are critical to your success, but more and more, companies are realizing that powerful communication skills are just as important.

Consider some recent research . . .

"What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say." —Ralph Waldo Emerson

If you’re preparing to make a presentation or give a talk, it’s likely you do what most people do: focus solely on your content. While what you have to say is definitely key, how you say it—through nonverbal “language”—is a lot more important than you might think.

As a matter of fact, there’s a lot of research out there that says anywhere from 50 to 90% of the impact you have on people is a result of nonverbal communication. Your posture, gestures, facial expressions, and the tone and cadence of your voice, play a huge role not only in getting your message across to an audience, but also, in engaging them, building trust, and increasing your credibility.

So, what can you do to bring your nonverbal delivery to the next level? 

We’ve all been there: Sitting in a meeting and feeling hesitant or afraid to bring up an idea, ask a question, or (yikes!) disagree with a participant’s viewpoint. Or, as in my case, holding off on speaking up because my temperament is to listen and give myself time to process information before joining in (and that sometimes takes longer than the meeting allows!).

The next time the voice in your head says, “They’ll think my idea is stupid,” or “If I ask that question, someone might get upset,” think again. Your voice matters, and the world is not going to end if someone doesn’t like your idea or if another doesn’t like being disagreed with.

The mind is a restless listener. It wants variety, meaning, music, and surprise. It wants to play with others. Start droning on about this or that, and the mind is out the door. Out to lunch. Gone fishing. 

“According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you're better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.” Jerry Seinfeld

 

We hear you, Jerry. While most of the people we've trained in public speaking over the years wouldn't opt for death over the stage, "stagefright" is common. We often see the signs: trembling, shaky voice, nervous pacing, and sometimes, freezing into a stony silence from fear.

One of my favourite tales from the work world illustrates what great storytelling does best: engage people and inspire them to meaningful action.  

In 2015, outdoor clothing and equipment giant REI wanted to do something different with their advertising in the weeks leading up to Black Friday, the day after Thanksgiving, which officially starts the holiday shopping madness in the U.S.

After entertaining a number of quirky ideas for ad campaigns—like perching Santa Claus on a mountaintop—they decided instead to do something positively disruptive that reflected their deepest values as a company.

Research has shown us that the best managers—and by extension, the best-performing teams and individuals—focus on strengths rather than weaknesses.  

Building on strengths-based psychology and social work, the Gallup® research organization surveyed millions of people worldwide between 2007 and 2017 regarding employee engagement. Sadly, they found that only one-third of employees responded “strongly agree” with this statement:

“At work, I have the opportunity to do what I do best every day.”

As a matter of fact, they pointed out that, “In stark contrast, our studies indicate that people who do have the opportunity to focus on their strengths every day are six times as likely to be engaged in their jobs and more than three times as likely to report having an excellent quality of life in general.”

“Great speakers are not born, they are trained.” 

This Dale Carnegie quote is never more true than when you’re speaking at a conference—especially if it’s virtual.

With so many distractions, competing events, and potential technology glitches, virtual conferences are a place where you have to work extra hard to prepare for and wow your audience.